6 Week Check-Up

I know...can you believe it's already been six weeks. I can't. In fact, it makes my heart hurt worse to think about it. I had emailed a friend who is going through a VERY similar experience and I thought I would share with you all what my doctor and I discussed today. First of all I want to say my doctor is so good! I know God put him in my life for his gentle heart. He had actually lost a daughter (adult) 10 years ago. So, he can relate to my pain. We talked a lot about having another baby. He said I was really healthy that I could even have those thoughts and not be scared about it. He told me that in the 25+ years and with residency that he has only seen maybe 10 deaths due to a cord. I felt like I had been hit with a ton of bricks again. My heart just broke. Why my son? I will just never know while I'm here on earth...and then when I get to Heaven it won't matter. So, he told me to wait six months to heal a little more physically and mentally. So, we will start trying again at the end of September/beginning of October. Please pray that we make the right decisions and that this will be a smooth, confident pregnancy...with a GREAT ending!!

I think tomorrow I may attempt to work on Carter's nursery. Please pray for strength for myself and Nathan. I know it will be hard.

While we're on praying, I ask that you pray for the many families (whom we don't even realize) that are going through this. It is crazy because I have two friends who have emailed me that they have a friend who has a friend (I know, confusing) that has lost a child. It doesn't make sense, but surely there is a way to be able to help in some way.

One more prayer request...which I can't believe I'm going to post. When I began college I began as a nursing student. I was 18 and could not discipline myself enough to stay focused in Anatomy/Physiology. So, I dropped out of nursing and changed my major to elementary education. I am so blessed to have gone into that field be4cause I have met some of my best friends. After I had Regan I thought, I'm going to go back to nursing school and work in L & D (labor and delivery). Well, then Kennedy came along...same thoughts...go back to school. Now that I have been through such a horrific experience with Carter, I want to go back even more. I feel that I can be so beneficial for women who are going through the same thing. I had an AMAZING nurse (whom I will get a picture of and post on here soon...Jessica :) ), but she had not been through it on a personal level. There are just a lot of things that God will have to do/provide for this opportunity to happen. Who knows, it may not be now, but years down the road. I don't know. I just ask that you pray for Him to open doors and for me to be aware of the doors He does open.

(Sorry this is a long one.)